About me

Hi, I’m Brian. I’ve been a professional copywriter for the past seven years and a comedian for the past ten. I’ve appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, regularly contribute to the Salt Lake Tribune, and (most importantly) have had my writing discussed with reverence on an Australian comedy podcast. Dreams really do come true.

From long-form articles to short ad copy and everything in between, I’m eager to lend my unique brand of relatable and irreverent humor to the cause.

If you got here via the “Learn More” button on the home page and are disappointed to see the same bio in two places, I apologize.

Here are some fun facts about me to help you Learn More:

• My fastest New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle time is 22:33.

• My fastest 5 mile cross-country time in college was 28:37

• My average time from my alarm going off to getting out of bed is 1 hour

• I have an Italian cat named Vincenzo

• I met Bruce Springsteen in 2016

• The photo of me and Bruce Springsteen is still my Dad’s phone background

• When I was 13 years old I ran into the side of a car on my bicycle and the newspaper quoted me saying that I, “Did not stop before crossing because there are usually no cars at the intersection”